The Transformation into a "Dada"

This post is dedicated to my CFE.  143.

Today on the walk to soccer, the whole fam was all excited for the first of what will probably be many sporting events for our crazy man Ollie!  I wasn't sure what to expect of a 16 month old and organized sports, but I was just happy to have him run so that he'd be tired for nap time!

On the walk there, Ollie pointed out every single truck, bus, trolley and duck boat as he always does.  The excitement this kid exudes at the sight of a trash truck is amazing!  I love it.  The funniest thing is that we have exposed him to all toys (not just boy stuff), but he is ridiculously obsessed with anything that has wheels, has dirt or anything that he can climb. Such a boy!

Anyway, one particular truck driver got a kick out of Ollie's excitement and gave him a little "toot toot" with the horn.  This just set Olls over the edge of excitement.....but it also had the same effect on Chris (the dada).  Much to my surprise, amidst all the rush hour commuters in Beacon Hill, Chris toot tooted loudly back as he saw his son's truck euphoria!  Obviously I get this -- I've been know to full on scream 'Baby Beluga' at the top of my lungs on the walk home to appease a cranky toddler.  Your sense of pride or caring what anyone thinks of you goes out the window, when that little 24-pounder needs something. I mean, you've seen (or read) how I dress -- nothing matters but him! 

So, I started to think about March 23, 2008, when I met this future dada who probably could have never imagined then that he would be playing with thomas the trains, washing bottles and buying diapers in a few short years.   He was such a cool dude, very bigtime lawyer man.  Too cool for me or anyone else --  He had never held a baby, let alone changed a diaper.  He strutted his stuff in his designer jeans and phat sneaks, thinking he was such a catch!  Such a tough guy!  As we moved in together and got married, that big heart opened up slowly but surely and the transformation started.

Fast forward to February 2012 - It was all over!  He had a son that had red hair, just like him!!!  From that moment on, I saw this tough guy change into Ollie's dada.  He carefully studied and learned everything he needed to know about raising this baby.  He knew about breastfeeding and pumping and tummy time and swaddles... He came home early when the colic had consumed the day.  He started Saturday morning walks, so that I could sleep in (or secretly watch DVR'd episodes of Real Housewives) and always brought back a giant Starbucks cup for me!  There was a switch around 10 months when Olls decided that Dada was the cool one and mom was just there when he needed something.  Now the weekly boys' night is Ollie's favorite time -- playground, pizza and ESPN?  You can't do much better than that, can you!?  Chris has totally morphed into a full on dad, who discusses sippy cups, bedtimes and developmental milestones with other parents at the park.  Once in a while I will meet up with my boys unexpectedly in the neighborhood and I get to see this relationship from afar.  Ollie loves his dada so so much and it is so touching to see how Chris loves that little boy right back a million times over. 

We love you, dada.  All you do for us each and every day is much appreciated.  We do, however, know that you secretly think you are the hottest dad at the playground!!!  BUSTED!

The aforementioned dada is the in-house legal counsel for the Earley clan and can be found here:  ChrisEarley.com

Come Waste Your Time With Me: The Playlist

Sooo, if you know me or you're an avid reader of my posts, I'm guessing you have noticed that I get a tad bit obsessed with things.  One thing I definitely obsessed about while pregnant was creating the most amazing environment for my labor & delivery.  Most specifically, the labor music playlist!  This became a latenight endeavor of finding songs from all over that inspire me, make me smile or would kick my ass to work harder to get that baby out! 

I crafted this great mix and listened to it incessantly during the last few weeks of my pregnancy.  I even made a backup list of fast paced running songs in case I needed a lil Beyonce to work it out.  Who knows: maybe Enya ain't what you want to hear when you are feeling the most incredible pain you have ever experienced in your entire life!?  Long story short, the only thing I thought about during my unmedicated 11 hours of back labor was ways to painfully punish my husband for not putting enough force into the lower back counterpressure exercise during my contractions!  You'd think I was a delicate piece of breakable glass with the teeny amount of pressure he was applying.  PRESS HARDER! OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?  

Needless to say, the playlist and the cute docking station I purchased to play the music stayed in my overnight bag the entire hospital stay.  Shocker!   It was such a perfect example of what happens when you plan anything surrounding your labor & delivery - it is probably not going to happen the way you anticipated!

Tonight after putting my Ollie to bed, I was very tired and wanted to collapse.  However, I had to drag the old bod out into the night to the very fancy destination of CVS!  Turns out my extravagant $30 purchase of Mustela baby soap and Desitin was left in the bag at the self bagging register several nights ago.... and I just realized it tonight, when we had no soap! So a big shout out to our friends at Consumer Value Store who hooked a sista up by believeing me and offering to replace the items when I called them with my story.   So I threw on my headphones (which is a whole other story- I hate ear buds, as I must have deformed inner ears or something.  So I use the thin headband headphones that you probably rocked with your discman in junior high! I love them and they double as a headband - win win!  But my husband constantly makes fun of me for looking so ridiculously old school).  Anyway, I never really go for leisurely walks by myself and when I go fast walking/running or to the gym I listen to upbeat songs to make me gooooooo fasterrrrr.  Tonight I cranked the birth playlist and was transformed back! 

I am defintitely not a music person, but tonight I had quite the magical walk --Music really is transformative!  I listened to my "oliver songs" and remembered all the feelings of anticipation and excitement I felt as I waited to meet my sweet boy growing inside me.  The walk had such an overwhelming calming effect on me and I didnt want it to end!!  As all moms, I'm usually rushing to each thing - quick quick quick, finish your waffle, where are your shoes, chug latte, we're late for music, quick throw that load in the dryer, quick quick please please PLEASE take a nap....repeat repeat repeat!

The playlist has songs from so many areas of my life - freshman year of college, my wedding song and some just from fun nights with friends.  It was so nice to remember and reflect back on the old days!   So, I guess the point (is there one?) of my revelation tonight is that: first of all, moms need to take more walks by themselves sans sippy cups, snacks and diapers.  Secondly, we should listen to more music that doesnt involve the chorus: the wheels on the bus go round and round.......and slow it down and enjoy the ride!  xoxo, rory

Here it is:  The Oliver Patrick Birth Playlist from February 2012:

Better Days - Eddie Vedder
Breathe Me - Sia
Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell
Jolene - Ray LaMontagne
Fade Into You - Mazzy Star
Heart of Gold - Neil Young
I Go To Sleep - Sia
Heavy Things - Phish
One Particular Harbor - Jimmy Buffett
Lullaby for Wyatt - Sheryl Crow
Silent in the Morning- Phish
Shakedown Street - Grateful Dead
Love on Top - Beyonce
Violet - Hole
I'll Back You up - DMB
Christmas Song - DMB
Moonshadow - Cat Stevens
Secret O Life - James Taylor
You've Got A Friend  James Taylor
Your Song - Elton John
This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
Yellow - Coldplay
Fix You - Coldplay
You Are My Sunshine - Carly Simon
Looks Like Rain - Grateful Dead
Halleluja - Rufus Wainwright
Dreaming My Dreams - The Cranberries
River - Sarah McLachlan
Mary - Sarah McLaclan
Ghost - Indigo Girls
Power of Two - Indigo Girls
Someone Like You - Adele
Waste - Phish --------> (Come Waste Your Time With Me!!)

My toddler has a stylist

My silly middle of the night post- when I should be sleeping to be well rested for the bear of a day tomorrow that is toddler teething!  However, both the men in my life are asleep and I have the couch, remote, snacks... and the best part: I'm ALONE!   I seriously have an addiction to staying up late, like really late.  It is because I have a tiny sliver of my former life- when I can lazily scroll through websites and fill the 'shopping cart' with things I have no intention of buying, read US Weekly online or just sit like a bump on a log and tune out to VH1s Couples therapy.  Seriously I just watched that and I'm embarrassed to admit it.  Anyway, I just turned out the lights, checked on the baby and headed to bed.... Then detoured to the ipad to write a quick post.  It is like late nights are my addiction.... And the hangover at 7am is gonna kill.

I thought I'd share with you another career aspiration I have, after I go to culinary school, become a homeopathic doctor and open a gourmet sandwich shop in Beacon Hill (very much needed!).  I think I'd like to be a stylist to the stars... who are under 18 months.  I have become a tad obsessed with dressing my Ollie in a style in which I think I created when he was in utero!  He would be sporty with a touch of classic prep!  I would definitely sell my soul for a cute RL Polo size 12-18 months.  Those suckers are not cheap!    

I get compliments alot on Ollie's "cool dude" style and although I do think Oliver has the utmost confidence to wear any off the rack look,  I do take credit for the tireless amount of work that goes into pulling his look each day.  Not to mention the wardrobe changes if there are any hiccups in his day such as mud puddles, grass stains or an unmentionable diaper incident. I can scan a clothing rack at Gap or H&M in a heartbeat and know what will work and what will not, with the ease of Anna Wintour with the fall collection.  What can I say, it's a gift to know which hoodie will work with which distressed jean pant, never cargo.  Oliver's signature look is usually jeans or chinos, a tee or polo and his signature Red Sox hat (often worn backwards for an even cooler look).  Very rugged, classic and all boy- my masterpiece!

The funniest part of this whole ridiculous subject is that his trusty sidekick who is always with him: pushing the swing, spotting him as he climbs and chasing him with bites of his lunch through the playground so he will get some sort of nourishment into that hunger striking body, is his mother who looks like a train wreck!  I legit feel like any day now he is going to turn around, clad in some handsome nautical striped attire and say "mom, get yourself together girl, puhhlease!"  As much as I'd love to be the mom at the playground wearing cropped skinny jeans, 6 weeks postpartum, I really don't have the time to style two people.  So I will forsake myself and focus on the fashionista of the house. I will continue to wear "the uniform" as my husband so kindly calls it - black lululemons with a tee annnnnd perhaps a cardigan, you know to really pull the look together!  And by 10/10:30am said cardigan will be stained in several spots from snacks and sippy cups and playground dirt!  

All in all, I think I live vicariously through dressing him, since nothing in my closet fits! Omg how I wish I needed to have tabs inside my jeans to make them tighter because they are just too darn big for my skinny waist!    xoxo, rory

Baby Carriers: My personal journey of love/hate & backaches

Wear your baby!

Carriers:  I am obsessed with carrying Oliver in the Ergo!  Mainly because it means I don't have to feverishly seek out the nearest elevator everywhere I go for my car (I call my Uppa Baby stroller my car, because it is- it is my mode of transportation and carries all my loot!).  It is so freeing to just walk down the stairs to the train or take the escalator at the mall!  I've had several carriers over the past 15 months and so I thought I'd share my experience here in case you are debating on what to buy!  Below is a totally biased, unresearched and personal take on what is the best way to wear that little goosie of yours:

Bjorn:  the love of my life for the first several months when my little meatball baby was a skinny string bean and weighed close to nothing!  As he fattened up, it definitely killed my back but I would still wear it to grab a coffee or a quick errand.  Ollie loved to face out, however I know there is alot of talk from avid baby wearers that this is very bad for their hips and/or groin?  When asking my pediatrician, she said limited time once in a while is fine.  (Disclaimer: I'm not dispensing medical advice!  Remember I told you my husband is a lawyer, so I'm keeping things on the level here.... So I can still overuse his AMEX for my diapers.com obsession).  Anyway, love the Bjorn for the beginning.

Moby:  I was obsessed with getting this when I was pregnant because of the material.  I like how you can adjust if it any way and it doesn't matter how fat your belly is, it will fit.  I used it on occasion in my apartment in the beginning for skin to skin.  No shirt and naked baby.  I definitely liked it and think it is an awesome product.  However with the utmost respect to the Moby, it's just too much work for me.  It is literally 14,000ft of fabric.  I know that tons of mamas love it and claim its sooo easy once you get the hang of it and I certainly do not want to discourage anyone to use it!  The fabric is definitely super soft and it is perfect for skin to skin!

Ergo:  I bought the Ergo when Ollie was 5 months old, so I did not need the infant insert at that point.  I do love how his legs are sort of spread around my waist (not that I have a waist, but you know what I mean) and the pressure is off his little groin area.  I definitely feel like a kangaroo with a little baby in my pouch, but in a good way!  I love it!  The back support is definitely great and now that animal baby is 24.7lbs, I still wear him a lot and feel totally comfortable!   I've tried the hip carry once and I have a love/hate with that position!  It's so great for him and my back and he has more freedom.  The problem is the mid-belly belt that wraps around your stomach.  I wore it to the aquarium once and saw my reflection in the tank!  Ummmm yeah, I've never been one to "just throw a belt on and cinch it" and sadly I never will be.  I think the back carry position would also have the same accentuation of the belly, soooo I'm going to hold off for a bit!  But I see flat bellied moms do it and it looks great!  Good for them!  For right now my baby man is happy as a clam to be snuggled up on my chest, so we are keeping it that way!

Ring Sling:  I started to become a little obsessed with the hip carry.  So I decided I desperately needed a cute Sakura sling.  They are so pretty and just sit across your body like a messenger bag (no cinching!).   They are approximately $175 and so I debated for a few days how to make this purchase on the sly without my husband knowing and telling me how ridiculous I am.  He knows me well - I become obsessed with things and need them immediately shipped, overnighted NOW.... And then I lose interest.  So I went to trusty old GardenMoms, the amazing listserv for Boston moms and put up an ad seeking a used sakura sling.  Another mom sold me her beautiful lightly used, cobalt blue linen sling and I was so excited to start my new life as a hip carrying baby mama.   I watched the YouTube videos over and over and I thought I figured it out.  There is definitely an art to threading the ring and positioning the baby.  It is different in that it looks like a beautiful pashmina that you've wrapped around yourself.  The ring part hurt my shoulder a little bit, but I have not mastered it yet.....but anyday now!  It is currently laying on the chair in my living room that no one sits on, as it serves as a collector for coats, carriers, folded laundry and whatever baby item I use on the daily.  I literally just glanced over at the chair while typing so I could give you an accurate description of its contents! 

As a side note, I have ALOT of mama friends who use a variety of different carriers.  From them, I've heard amazing things about the K'tan and the Beco.  I honestly think that your style and body type play a huge role in what works best for you.  The staff at Isis is amazing for letting you try things on and figure out what you like.  Also, they are super helpful with adjusting your current carrier while on your body to make sure you have it on correctly.  I had my bjorn adjusted last year by an Isis staff member and it made such a huge difference by just tightening a small thing.  In conclusion, my suggestion would be to not go it alone!  Seek out help and advice in the baby wearing arena!  Try them on and ask questions!  Here are some helpful links:

http://www.isisparenting.com/page/shopsubcategory?categoryCode=babyslingscarriers

http://www.diapers.com/subcat=Carriers-Wraps-111

https://www.bigtent.com/groups/gardenmoms

All kidding aside, there is nothing better than having your baby close to you all the time.  It is so so special and comforting for the both of you.....annnnd the bonus is that you have two free hands for that triple espresso latte that you're going to need to make it through the day!  xoxo, rory

Wherever you are: my love will find you

Welcome blog visitors!

My name is Rory Earley and I am a Boston mom & new postpartum doula!  This is my first blog post ever (yes, it is 2013 & I'm a tad behind!) and I figured the best way to start this new adventure in my life is to tell you a little about me!  First things first, I promise you that I will always be REAL! I will always attempt to inject some humor and laughs into my posts, when appropriate!  Laughter is the best medicine -- honestly, I believe it's the only way we get through this amazing, incredible and exhausting gig they call motherhood!

My goal as a postpartum doula is to come into your home and just make your life easier!  I want to walk into the chaos that is spit up & blowouts & reflux & low milk supply & crazy hormones and reassure you that "Yes! This is normal and yes, it gets better!"  I want you to feel comfortable laying on the couch in the pajamas you've had on for two days while I'm there, and not care!  I want you to feel supported and cared for and know that your baby will be loved by me!

I like to describe myself as "a second you"- I am there to take care of not only the baby but the family as a whole.  I can't make a comprehensive list of my services as I could never cover everything.  Some families just want childcare so the mom & dad can take a break. Sometimes it's making dinner or going grocery shopping or washing bottles & pump parts and then sometimes a new mom just wants to be supported emotionally and talk about what she is going through!  There is NOTHING better than a supportive person who can listen to you when you're going through a tough time and say: "I understand, I've been there and you will get through this!"  I think the fact that I am a mom myself (to an insane (and adorable) marathon runner 16 month old boy) has exponentially enhanced my ability to be a great postpartum doula!  I get it!

My birth was crazy.  I planned a natural child birth for 10 months.  I dragged my husband (who will be the butt of many a jokes here) to mind/body classes during sunday afternoon Patriots games.  I read about and listened to CDs on hypnobirthing.  I was determined to wear that medal of honor after my birth that I channeled my inner amazingness and birthed a human without drugs.  I wanted that so bad, probably mostly just to say I did it.  Of course, it went exactly the opposite way I had expected!  At 10 days past my due date, my midwife suggested I be induced.  My blood pressure was rising and so I caved and said ok.  The nurses and midwives said it would probably be days until I actually delivered (seriously!?), so I told my two birth doulas that I would keep in touch, but I was pretty sure they were in for an uninterrupted night of sleep!Then all of a sudden the back labor started.  What a crazy & wild ride!  The worst pain I've ever felt & no way to relieve it - my baby was sunny side up and sitting on my tailbone!  I kept telling myself I was meant to do this and I could do it..... Annnnnd then a scene from grey's anatomy started to unfold in my hospital room.  Unbeknownst to me the docs were monitoring my baby's heartbeat from the nurses station & his heart rate was dropping dramatically!  A flood of doctors and nurses raced in to my room like It was a 'code blue- get out the shocker paddles' type of deal.  "We gotta get him out, we need to prep you for a c-section," were the words I heard.   

At this point I definitely thought Ashton Kutcher was in the next room filming an episode of Punked and I was his intended target.  A c-section was the worst thing that could happen to me!  This wasn't happening! Oh yes...Yes it was!  Oh and it gets better- I hemorrhaged on the table to the point of almost needing a transfusion and remained in surgery for about two hours getting all tied back together!!  (That will be the last of the over sharing, sorry!).  

Despite the rough road ahead of healing, supply issues & a baby that hated sleep, we made it.  I am so so crazy in love with my Oliver Patrick that I can't think about how much I love him without crying.  I literally cannot get through some of his books without choking up about how bananas I am about this kid!

Our favorite book of all time is Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman.   Such an amazing book and 15 months later, I rarely make it to the last page without the ole voice quivering!  Seriously, buy this book now!  This is the page that usually kills me:

And if someday you're lonely,

Or someday you're sad,

Or you strike out at baseball,

Or think you've been bad...

just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.
That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.

I love you for reading this chaotic collection of thoughts!  I'm sure my blog entry is too long, filled with typos & grammatical errors & blog faux pas!  That's the beauty of it though.  For the lawyer in the room (my husband), I will shamelessly plug my services here:  Hire me!  I promise to make you laugh, make you dinner and help you explore the magic of motherhood!   xoxo - rory