10 New Mom Essentials

Hi Readers -
I thought I'd write a little post for any new or expecting moms that may read my silly little blog.  We buy sooo much stuff before we have the baby and then a ton of it goes back to Babies R Us or gets thrown in a closet.  Here are a few things that I thought were super helpful.  (I don't represent any company, this is strictly my personal opinion from my experience with my Ollie).  xoxo, -rory

1. Moms Group. First off, a new moms group is imperative!  I definitely felt like I didn't need/want this when I was pregnant, cause I thought I knew it all (HA!).  However, because I'm a total follower, I did in fact join the Isis mom's group called "Great Beginnings" and what a great decision that was.  You start when your baby is about 6 weeks old.  It is a bunch of tired moms that are all like "OMG, What am I doing?!?", and you all bond and learn all you need to know about the first few weeks.  The babies lay on boppys and scream their heads off and no one minds!  This is also where you will begin to feel OK with breastfeeding outside your living room!  The first few classes, you may wear your cover up, but soon thereafter no one cares.  I always say- If anyone wants to catch a glimpse of what's going on here with my post-baby bod, go ahead.  However, you may need some therapy after looking!  Just saying.  Anyway, the support is amazing and you will remain friends with these woman!  I'm 17 months out and I am definitely still close to most of the moms in my class.

2. Nursing Cover.  Speaking of Nursing -  sooner or later, you will have to feed the baby in public.  It is a wicked scary thought initially.  Then you will be out and your little goosie will need to eat and you just have to do it.  My first time was in the MGH lobby at my 6 week check up.  Ollie lost it and I just had to do it on a bench, amidst tons of people -- It was definitely a good initiation.  The apron like things that go around your neck and cover your baby while he feeds are amazing!  There a bunch - I loved the Bebe Au Lait ones that came in super cute patterns.  http://www.bebeaulait.com/

3.  Nursing Tanks.  I was and still am obsessed with these tanks, even though I am no longer breastfeeding!  I used the Glamour Mom Tanks and they were great!  I LOVED the fact that they kind of sucked your belly in, while providing a cute tank to wear and there were soooo long!  Love the coverage.  They also have styles for bigger chests with a little more support.  http://www.glamourmom.com/

4. Nursing pillow.  It is super important to be comfortable while nursing as you will be doing it ALOT and when you relax, your milk supply can flow easily!  There are tons of pillows out there - I mostly just used the all purpose Boppy pillow, that is like a C-shaped pillow that wraps around your waist.  Sometimes I would prop up one side with a regular pillow, but you will find what works best for you.  A ton of my friends loved the My Brest Friend pillow and I used that for a little while, but preferred the boppy.  Sometimes in the middle of the night, I just used this silly little rectangle shaped decorative pillow with my wedding date embroidered on it that I received as a wedding gift.  It was the perfect shape to just slip under his body.  Odd, I know.  This is the area in which everyone is different - you have to find out what is comfortable for you.  Also, they do make these travel boppys that you fold up and leave in your stroller for feeding in public!  The boppy is also great for propping up the baby when they get a little bigger and I loved doing tummy time on the boppy.
http://www.boppy.com/shop/category/pillows-and-loungers/
http://www.mybrestfriend.com/


5. Swaddles.  I know that there is a movement now that is anti-swaddle, but I am certainly pro-swaddle!  I wish I could still wrap ollie up in his little muslin blankets!  Initially when he was super small, we used the pink and blue hospital blankets to wrap him. As he grew a little bigger, I did either the Aden & Anais muslin blankets that everyone uses and I also love the Miracle Blanket and the Summer Infant velcro swaddles.  It was a great "sleep cue" and even if they initially fight it, most babies like it! 
http://www.summerinfant.com/nursery/swaddling-wearable-blankets/swaddleme/small-medium
http://www.miracleblanket.com/
http://www.adenandanais.com/shop/swaddles.aspx

6.  A vibrating "bouncy seat".  These little transportable seats are great for a while!  I loved that the baby could nap in there and you could move it from room to room.  Also, it comes in soooo handy when you actually need to shower.  Ollie spent many a mornings in the bouncy seat on the bathroom floor while I showered.  As they get a little bigger they begin to see the little animal toys hanging down and bat at them....and this is when you start to become convinced they are baby geniuses.  This is the one that I had and loved it, but there are a million on the market.
http://www.diapers.com/p/fisher-price-rainforest-bouncer-9322

7. An activity gym/playmat.  This omnipresent mat with the crisscrossing arches is great.  In the beginning, it is just a way to let them lay and have a little visual stimulation and then as they get older, you can hang toys or interlocking rings down for them to grab.  Definitely something you'll use for many months.  Again, there are a million out there, but this is the one I had.
http://www.diapers.com/p/fisher-price-rainforest-melodies-lights-deluxe-gym-9323

8. Baby Carrier(s).  Not everyone is a babywearer, and I never thought I would be..but now I am a total convert!!!  I still wear 25lb Ollie in my Ergo.  I already wrote a full on blog post all about carriers, see here -->  http://roryearleydoula.blogspot.com/2013/06/baby-carriers-my-personal-journey-of.html. I strongly encourage all new moms to babywear, not just for bonding....but for a couple minutes of free hands to empty the dishwasher!  Its great for skin to skin time too, which is so very important!

9.  Diapers.com or Amazon Prime.  I have a huge love affair with diapers.com!  They have EVERYTHING under the sun, including almost every product I've mentioned here.  The greatest thing is that it is free overnight delivery.  I am such a sucker for overnight delivery!  LOVE!  They have iPhone apps and easy re-ordering, as they save your frequently ordered items. I believe you can set up automatic delivery too.  Size 4 Pampers Sensitive diapers tomorrow by 6?  Yes please!

10.  Help!  Most every mom will answer "yeah yeah yeah, I know" to this suggestion, as we all want to be supermom that does it all.  However, it is really important that you get out, alone.  Even if it is just to CVS or Whole Foods (my usual destinations!).  The first few times you walk down the street without a stroller and diaper bag, you will feel naked.... but then you return home, all refreshed, and you are a better mom because of it!  Not all of us can afford a nanny or babysitter, but even if your partner or a friend can lend you a little help, it will be well well worth it!  If you do have a partner, down the road you may want a date night too...in order to rekindle that old spark and get geared up for baby #2.  HA, just kidding!

Nothing New Under The Sun

On Friday night, Ollie was getting stir crazy from being inside for too many hours.  His parents were being very selfish and didn't want to leave the cocoon of the air conditioning in the 101 degree heat!  He doesn't have too many words yet, but certainly can communicate what it is that he wants!  For instance, he will get his shoes and hand them to me and get behind the stroller and push it into the middle of the living room!  Subtle much, Olls??

So, I decided to give in and take a whirl to one of our usual destinations: Wallgreens!  We needed some whole milk and maybe a pint of Ben & Jerrys to survive the deadly heat!  I also decided to make it even more fun but letting ollie ride his fun Kettle trike!  Months back I became OBSESSED with getting this bike for him, fearing he would be so deprived if he didn't get it immediately..... ordered it, put it together and can not so proudly say that we have taken it out on the mean streets of Boston approximately 6 times in 5 months. 

Anyway, he was sooo excited to get strapped in and be totally unencumbered, spinning around 360 degrees to point out each and every single large vehicle with wheels.  He was barefoot and in super cute striped Mini Boden board shorts and a white tee - I was thinking to myself: look at this cute boy and this carefree summer night, I'm so happy!   Then we hit the new Wallgreens superstore that recently opened up in Downtown Crossing.  It is only a block away from our house and they have organic whole milk! Which means we dont have to trek down the hill to Whole Foods when we open the fridge at 7pm and see that we are not prepared for evening and morning bottle (yup, I know!  A 17 month old should not still be drinking from a bottle!).

Everyone was commenting on the cute red headed boy on his bike and he would shamelessly flirt back, cocking his head to the side with a little smirk!  I went to the grab the milk and threw it in the back of the bike.  With this thud, a floodgate opened.  Oliver wanted to hold the milk and hold it NOW!  When I refused to let him, he lost his mind and started crying and throwing a huge tantrum, all while strapped into the bike.   I quickly purchased the milk and ran home.  Outside on the sidewalk a mom and dad were stopped with a double stroller looking at a map - probably tourists walking the Freedom Trail.   In order to acknowledge that I realize this screaming isn't normal and I'm not a crazy mom, I of course felt the need to say something self-deprecating and sarcastic.  So they glanced at me and I said 'this is fun, huh?' to which they calmly replied: "We feel your pain, that was our entire morning".

Sooo even though I have worked with kids my entire life and know all about these tantrums and I've given that knowing smile to many moms that were in my spot on the street, this one sentance uttered by this mom & dad made me feel soooo much better!  I once again realized that all this craziness is normal (sometimes!) and that we're all going through the same stuff!  I hope that when he is 20 and putting his tenacious ways towards something big, we will laugh together at how much of a strong willed and stubborn baby he once was.  To those who know me and Chris, you see the stubborn apple didn't fall far!

My mom's famous line is "there is nothing new under the sun" and as I grow older, it really resonates with me.  There really isn't!  Every marriage has their tough times, every mom has struggles, and we are all just soo soo freakin TIRED!  However, what makes all this bedlam worth it are those moments when you open the door and your baby runs to you, jumps into your arms and puts his head on your shoulder because that is home to him.  Sheer euphoria.

Grilled Cheeses & Being A Boy Mom

Recently I was at a doula training weekend and at the icebreaker I was asked to list my hobbies.  Ummmm, what's a hobby?  Ohhh right - my hobbies are mainly seeking out large trucks, duck boats and busses on City streets, constantly applying sunscreen on a red-headed & filthy 17 month old boy and eating grilled cheese.That about sums it up.

I find the difference between girl and boy babies so so funny!  My friends with girl babies enjoy quiet reading time, shopping trips and playing nicely at various fun kid hotspots.  My son enjoys throwing things, running very fast towards trucks, dumping any sort of liquid drink all over himself and trying to splash the water in the toilet.  I really and truly don't understand how I am not a size double zero with the amount of running, chasing and truck playing I do on a daily.  I guess maybe the fact that I am on a steady diet of grilled cheese and mocha frappucinos (with an add-shot of espresso!) may be the culprit!  Anyway, Ollie loves nothing more than to push a cozy coupe, scooter or any other moving vehicle around and around and around the playground.  He literally has a massive stroke when he sees a firetruck and often will just stand and stare at one parked on the street.

I remember talking to an old friend I met in college, who was very interested in gender roles and how they are a social construct.... then she birthed three giant baby boys!  Now her life is knee deep in trucks and hockey and constantly cleaning the bathroom with Clorox wipes!  I'm sure she exposed her boys to dolls and gender neutral toys in the beginning, before the boy in boy mom took over and she just gave in to the mud, trains and soccer balls!  I really and truly believe this vehicle obsession is imprinted in their DNA!

The flirting is a whole other ballgame!  He will bat those long eye lashes and flirt with any woman in sight, whether she is 10 or 75.  He is an equal opportunity flirt.  There is a Starbucks in the bottom of our building and he is a fave among the barista ladies!  It actually is kinda cool to stroll in there at 9am and hear "Hi Oliver" come from 5 different girls, while the rush hour coffee customers watch, annoyed that their latte may be delayed due to the lovefest!

I also believe that picky eating and the male toddler species go hand and hand.  I've heard many friends with girls proudly exclaim their baby's love for salmon, edamame and quinoa!  Ollie is on a very strict all white diet- carbs with a side of carbs and a sprinkling of cookies or watermelon.  I will slave over a fun new meal where I've hidden something nutritional and Mr. detective will simply touch it with his finger and know he is not remotely interested.  I think his little fingers have a cookie detector, as he is open to cookies of all textures! 

Soooo, I go to fancy cafes and buy grilled cheeses on amazing sprouted bread with artisanal cheese and pressed in the most perfect panini maker on the planet.  Like today, I needed to go to the Apple store to replace my iphone (on iphone #3 this year due to Oliver Patrick!).  I was thinking he would nosh while I worked with my Apple Genius and thought of an idyllic exchange with a quiet baby in an air conditioned store to escape this 97 degree weather!  This is how it went - Ollie flipped out and wanted to get out of the stroller, then man-handled every ipad on display on the third floor of the glass encased store.  He almost launched his sippy cup up over the glass wall and down three flights until I caught it, like a red sox catcher.  He then almost outran me to the top of the narrow glass staircase.  UGHHHH!  Finally, I got him in the stroller and strapped him in.  I think the heat helped me out, as he gave up the fight. I presented the $12 grilled cheese and hoped for a nice round 2. 

As my nerves settled a bit and my Genius arrived with my new phone.  The grilled cheese was launched onto the floor.   Ummmm, did anyone see that, or can I just hand it back to him? Tap tap on the shoulder: "Ma'am your baby's sandwich is on the floor."  DAMN!