Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Today I climbed Everest... I mean I emptied the dishwasher.


You know some days when you walk into your kitchen and the sink is piled high with dishes (perhaps from the 7 meals you whipped up until your finicky toddler actually ate) AND the dishwasher is full with clean dishes?? Honestly that's like the worst combo ever!  It means you have to do work in order to start doing work. Ughh.  Unless there is a small chance you can shove the dirty stuff in with the clean stuff and rerun the whole thing, pretending you weren't sure if it was clean- "wait, did you run the dishwasher? Is this clean? Welllllll, better safe than sorry, let's run her again."

It's so funny how some days are just torturous to get through - like never ending craziness of exhaustion, toys on the floor, no food in the house and a toddler demanding "Mickey show! Mickey show! Mickeeeeeeyyyy shoooooowwwww!!!" And then you just forget the pact you made with your husband last night about less TV and no iPhones in the house and turn on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and pull out your phone for a few minutes (or 30) of Facebook, Instagram, weather.com annnnd maybe some boston.com for the important news.

These winter days upon us don't make it easy -- that no mans land between 4:30pm and 8pm in the cold months is rough!  Remember the summer when you'd all just frolick in your flip flops and grab a slice of pizza for dinner after the sprinklers?   Nope!  Now it's socks, shoes, coat, hat and zipped into the stroller blanket (7AM Enfant is my life!  Obsessed!).  Oh and god forbid you threw on your own puffer jacket first... Cause now your sweating.  YAY!  Let's walk to Whole Foods for a fun adventure!!

Tomorrow!  Tomorrow we will be better!  We'll have green juice for breakfast, no screen time and we will intently study the molecule and atom exhibit at the science museum (instead of just going to see the baby chicks hatch from their eggs).  You know, we'll do like smart, healthy people things. Yes def, right after I really quickly catch up on my DVR'd housewives episodes and chug this mocha latte.  

Monday, July 21, 2014

I'll never be that mom...

I've come to terms with a few things in my life as Ollie's mom over the past 29 months (don't you hate when people still use months to describe their child's age when they are toddlers?) For instance I've literally heard someone say "my son is 36 months".... Ummm, we're not talking about the life of your car loan, he is a human - just say 3.  Thanks.

Anyway,  summer is here and Ollie is fully ready with his stunning summer wardrobe filled with Jcrew polos and Hanna Andersson board shorts and rash guards.  He literally looks like a mini college kid and I love it.  I, on the other hand, am struggling.  In an attempt to put together a cute summer look, I wore a new v-neck tissue tee and lululemons (aka: my uniform).  However today, was different- I was freshly showered, had earrings & perfume on and was determined to look cute.  Soooo how do you achieve this?  Throw a scarf into the mix!  So, I put on a lightweight pink chevron print scarf and I felt good. 

Cut to the walk down the main drag on the way to the playground where there happens to be quite a nice breeze.  The scarf is not staying on and wrapping awkwardly around my neck, then flying halfway off, which is creating quite the disheveled look.  Hashtag Fail.  This scarf is representative of my life!! It's at this point that I realize: I'm just never gonna be that mom.  And so a blog post was born:

*I'll never be that mom that looks effortlessly put together in white jeans, a tank & Toms.  Stained, wrinkled & yoga pants are more my jam.

*I'll never be the mom that calmly works their way through crazy temper tantrums with a gentle parenting methodology.  I'm more of a death look, threaten to take away Sesame Street time kinda mom....or give in entirely and hand him a cookie! Ha!

*I'm probably never going to to be that mom that knows the library story hour times and makes a habit of going to them.  I pretty much fly by the seat of my pants each morning with a "what are we gonna do today to tire you out for nap... So I can get to what I really want to do today, which is watch Real Housewives on DVR and eat my sandwich in peace."

*I'm probably never gonna be that mom that has sensory bins in her house - where you have boxes of dry beans for the child to dig around in or hide puzzle pieces in for a mentally stimulating game.... Or a water table for that matter.  Not that I don't think these things are great.  I do!  I think about acquiring these things often and then the effort is just too much -- like how many pounds of legumes is sufficient to build said sensory box?? Let's just play trucks.

*potty training?  No.  

But for all the things I'm not, I:

*am definitely a fun mom that laughs and sings and dances in her living room to the delight of a squealing Ollie.

*disregard the rules of when dinner time and bedtime should be on a summer evening so that we can frolic throughout the sprinklers till it is dark.

*am an Ollie art curator, who has hung every single piece of art Ollie has brought home from school in my foyer, so that we have a legit construction paper gallery in our apartment.

*always let Ollie get something in the gift shop. 

*alter my social life (wait, what's that?) and work life so that I am always present at bedtime.

*will very often forgo sleep after working an overnight so that Ollie can enjoy a full day of playing, running, splashing around the city!

*ride the carousel 3-4 times every single day, as this is Ollie's absolute favorite thing.

*fight to the death to make sure he has EVERYTHING he needs to be the best & brightest kid he can be!

And for that, I am proud.  My kid may not be potty trained or eat kale chips... But he is happy and funny and smart, and that is all I need in this life.  



Saturday, February 22, 2014

You know you are a boy mom.....

When:

*your son is always sticky, dirty, wet or involved in some activity to promote these states of non-cleanliness.

*you genuinely get excited when a fire truck or a "digger" comes within sight... Even if your son is not with you.  

*you never ever ever can go out to dinner and sit for more than 90 seconds before you or your partner have to walk around the restaurant, while the other *shovels* in their dinner.  Which usually ends with you sitting at the end of the meal waiting for the check looking like a weirdo with three plates of food in front of you, all alone.  This is always when some hot 25 year old boy walks by and looks at you in disgust.  Just wait, you hottie.  Just wait!  This shitshow is you in no time!!

*even when you get "dressed up" by throwing on clean yoga pants and go out solo with your big girl handbag (instead of a diaper bag), you still have several die-cast dump trucks, half eaten granola bars and a binky in your bag... And usually in your pocket too.

*your son legit subsists on air. He eats nothing. Ever.  Until one night he gobbles up the entire meal you have slaved over and you do many fist pumps in the air, in the kitchen by yourself, excited that he actually ate something!!  You repeat the next night thinking you've really turned a corner..... And he immediately sweeps entire contents of tray onto the floor with a quick flip of the wrist, with a 'nope, not happening again' look that makes you want to jump off the balcony.

*wherever your child goes he is usually hoarding 6-10 trucks in his hands at all times.  God forbid you ask him to put one down or use a hand to drink, eat or put a jacket on his body.

*you are constantly running, racing, up & down and all around.  Chasing this wild animal all over town!   Yet, you're not yet a size 2- WHY is that?  I feel like I should be the slimmest person on earth!!! 

*you really have no need for a stroller.  It is merely a jungle gym apparatus to climb in and out of, especially when you are trying to get somewhere.

*you always have a selection of balls in aforementioned stroller- usually tennis or small brightly colored plastic balls for the spontaneous playground scrimmage.

*your living room is always a disaster area- as in one step away from being condemned by the board of health for an abundance of trains, trucks and wayward puzzle pieces everywhere.  Your decorating style has gone from "shabby chic" to "Thomas-Bruder-Melissa & Doug Chic".

*your son loves to snuggle with you, is hysterically excited to see you, and you are the *only* person in the entire galaxy that can make everything ok.  

*you have a boy that thinks you are the most beautiful and magnificent supermodel on the planet.

*life is good.  Thank goodness for little boys

.





Saturday, January 18, 2014

Birthday Party Madness

I have never been one that is into anything too "girly".  I don't enjoy pinterest or interior design magazines and I don't even wear makeup.  Perhaps I am just lazy, but I just don't care.  I mean, I think I have good taste and I know what I like but poring over fabric samples or shopping the MAC counter is something you'll never see me doing.  Because of this, I am utterly shocked at my recent odd (slightly obsessive) behavior over Ollie's second birthday party.

I have always thought that over the top big birthday parties for babies were a waste and all about the parents showing off.  That is why for Ollie's first birthday party, we just had immediate family with pizza and cupcakes.  It was sheer perfection and I love that I didn't do a big thing, where he probably would have melted down 7 minutes into the party.  Despite the fact that I felt a tinge of guilt every time we went to one of our friend's fabulous baby birthday parties!!

This year, something is different.  My little ginger has a personality - he is full-on crazily obsessed with trucks, namely firetrucks.  Also, he has best friends he plays with - his little group of cute toddlers that he really truly loves.  So this year, I am morphing into "that mom" that is planning a themed party.  A fire truck themed party no less. It started with the invitations I found on Minted.com - which rivaled the cost of my wedding invites.  Thank god Chris isn't fully versed on things like custom printing and card stock, or the fact that for $4.99 we could have had very nice invitations from CVS that would have handwritten info.  This invitation has now become the template for all my decorating!  Last night after a few cocktails on our date night, I forced Chris to go to our local bakery on the walk home, invitation in hand, to get the ball rolling on the cake discussions.  Ridiculous.

This blog post comes after a night of insomnia starting at 3am. I was on my iPhone searching Etsy for "fire truck party decor" as I attempted to not wake Chris with the bright light shining from my phone.  I think this post is somewhat of a self-intervention, as I almost just pulled the trigger on a $52 party package of fire truck birthday monogrammed banners and cupcake toppers. WHO AM I?

Despite the decorating compulsion & overspending, I am honestly soooo excited for his big day! My little goose will be the star of the show and all his cute little friends will be together to play.....with firetrucks.