Cliche Mama

As I get deeper into the role as Ollie's mom, I'm amazed at how much of a big fat cliche I actually have become.  Case in point -- day one of ollie's toddler preschool program.  I was so very excited when we made the decision to send Ollie to an amazing program twice a week.  I am constantly thinking of what I can do to make this kid the happiest, most social, polite, sweetest and smartest boy on the block --- art class, swimming, soccer, music, playground, museums, playdates (I'm actually kinda impressing myself as I type this)..... and because he is a 21 month old boy, most of these classes and activities involve him clawing at the door to get out, climbing on the nearest table to dance like Paris Hilton, and trying to hack into the fire extinguisher in the room.  Obviously money well spent!

Soo the allure of a drop off program that included structure, gym class and socialization was perfect!  Despite the few hiccups at drop off time when he acts like I am giving him up for adoption, things are going well (or so they tell me at pick up.....yet my gut tells me they are just being nice to the crazy mom with the disheveled hair).

The problem is mostly with me.  First problem -- what am I supposed to do with two hours of free time?  I literally dont even know what to do with myself.  Who says that?!?!?  Me!   So, what I do is sit in the cafe in the building where his school is, shoveling pumpkin bread and Vitamin water zero, so that I can try to catch a glimpse of his face for 15 seconds as he heads into the basketball area of the gym for his sports time.  Let me digress for one moment -- this cafe is filled with very serious healthy worker outer people who order kale and amino acids and chia seed meals.  I overhear their convos with words like vinyasa and barre and quinoa.  The cafe has a small stash of things like pumpkin bread when riffraff like me happens to stumble into the joint.  

I hear the elevators open (the school is two floors away from the gym part) and hear the quiet murmur of a gaggle of toddlers in a wagon........ I literally jumped out of my seat and ran as close as I could get and HID BEHIND A POLE, so I could see him but he wouldn't be able to see me.   Seeing your whole entire heart, siting there in a wagon with his friends, under the direction of his teachers is a feeling I've never experienced -- sooo weird.  I seriously had to stop myself from yelling "WAIT! STOP! THAT'S MY BABY, GIVE HIM BACK!"

Buuut I didnt.  As the wagons went out of sight and into the basketball court area, I retreated back to my seat, realizing how ridiculous all these fabulous kale eating people must think I am...but I didnt care, because I saw my Ollie and he wasn't crying.  He was happy.  That's everything.  As I type this, I am crying - this absolutely excruciating privilege of  raising this beautiful boy is just so much!  I sometimes don't think I can even keep going, it is so so hard.  As with all moms, the guilt, the worry, the fear that I've messed him up, the terror in my bones of the thought of him ever being hurt or bullied or scared, that he could fall into the wrong crowd and do drugs, or my absolute worst nightmare --> that he could rebel against the sporty prep style I have created for his wardrobe and start wearing black eye makeup or the like. HA!

My little ginger on his first day of class...and a monogrammed lunch tote!

Just a friendly reminder of what I can offer to new moms and dads in the City!  Please feel free to contact me with any questions!

I offer two "shifts":
*6pm-11pm 
*10pm-6am (overnight)

During these times, I am available to help in any way, for example:
*Anything related to the baby
*Laundry
*Bottle/Pump part washing
*Cooking
*Grocery shopping
*Errands
*General household organization
*Older sibling care
*New mom/dad support - breastfeeding, swaddling, bathing, soothing techniques, baby products, etc
*Prenatal support -setting up nursery, product purchases, help with securing long term childcare


My Experience:
I have over 15 years of experience with newborns and children of all ages!  I have been a babysitter, FT nanny, household manager and I am a mom myself to my beautiful and crazy redheaded son named Oliver!  I am a CAPPA trained postpartum doula and now focus my practice on strictly working with newborns & infants.  Additionally, my mom is a chef/caterer, so I've always loved cooking. I have prepared many meals for moms that are on a restricted diet during pregnancy or breastfeeding!

Rates:
$40/hour 

Please fee free to contact me with any questions!  I am open to a myriad of different situations and am happy to help in any way I can.  My goal is to make your life a little easier.

Thanks for reading!

Rory Earley
rwearley@gmail.com
http://roryearleydoula.blogspot.com
http://facebook.com/roryearleydoula

The South End Night Shift & Kohlrabi

Hi Everyone!  I'm back in action and just sooo appreciative of my life!  I have the best kid, the best husband and the best job!  It really is amazing that I am able to have a full-on stay at home mom experience, yet still earn a great income for my family!  PLUS, my job rocks!  I'm always brainstorming on what to blog about... and last night it really hit me....  The night shift!

Just as you all are settling in watching TV (hopefully something on Bravo!) and ending your day, I am showering, brushing my teeth and heading out the door to work.  The majority of my doula practice is now overnights, where I work roughly 10pm-6am for the most awesome families and adorable babies. It's really a tough life to have to snuggle with a newborn all night as your job!

So last night I was in a cab (my obsession is a luxurious cab ride, usually Uber), and heading over to the South End, where most of my families live.  It is so weird -- everyone lives in the South End, it's like a thing.  As I'm riding along, noticing the scenery I see all these people lollygagging about at the likes of Stella and Boston Chops and a few other amazing restaurants on Washington St, swirling their wine within their beautiful glass stemware.   My reality is soooo the opposite of this lifestyle.  Then in the morning, I'm soooo tired and dragging the bod home -- usually walking to breathe some life into me, and I see a whole other population of people in tight lululemon leggings & tanks running to the gym or walking their dogs.  That's another thing about the South End - it is definitely like a prerequisite that you must have a dog.  It is so funny to see who is out, and when!

Sooo once I arrive at my destination in the evenings, I settle in and see what I can do to be most helpful.  This particular family likes my cooking, so I usually spend a large chunk of the evening when the sweet baby is snoozing to prepare a few meals to throw in the fridge or the freezer.  It is actually really relaxing and fun to be chopping and sauteing at 2am!  Plus, I definitely have a secret desire to be a chef....soooo sometimes in the wee hours of the morning I pretend I am.

One of the funniest things I've encountered recently in my culinary adventures is a mystery vegetable.  It was green and bulby and had a long stem of greens.  After many google image tests and late-night text to chef friends, we figured it out! It was Kohlrabi!   What the heck is Kohlrabi?  Well, it is in the cabbage family and kind of has the texture of broccoli stems on the outside and a potato or turnip on the inside.   I chopped it up, channeled my Barefoot Contessa and did a little olive oil, salt and pepper and roasted it at a very high temp.  SUCCESS!  The family reported back that it was delicious! 

Last night I made more roasted root veggies and also homemade turkey burgers.  It was a really cool & healthy comfort food meal and it made the house smell amazing!  I also prepared a side dish of baked sweet potato & apples with cinnamon for the older sibling in the house.  Here is my super simple recipe for my turkey burgers that have gone over well in my home and several others too:

1lb ground all white meat turkey
1 egg
sprinkle of italian-style breadcrumbs
diced onion & green pepper (sauteed first to soften)
sprinkle of garlic powder
sprinkle of cayenne
salt/pepper

Mix it up with your hands, make patties and then grill them up -- I usually use a grill pan or just a plain old frying pan. 

Soo that's what I've got cooking these days!  Here are some pics below.  Take care, my sweet readers!

The taboo topic: miscarriage

Hi Everyone:

I'm taking a little vaca from my normally very sarcastic & silly blogging to write a little post about something I've experienced lately.  I feel like we all know someone that has had a miscarriage and I think even more people than we think have quietly suffered the loss and not talked about it.

Pretty much, it just plain sucks.

Chris & I were very excited to find out we were pregnant with baby #2 last month and of course a big mouth like me never waits the requisite 12 weeks to tell everyone.  I literally was texting 10 minutes after peeing on the stick!  With the caveat that "oh I would tell everyone if something happened anyway, so it's cool."  Well, something did happen and now bigmouth has to back track and tell everyone that thinks I'm pregnant, that I am not anymore.  Mostly just because I'd love to avoid the awkward talk at the playground, when I'm asked how I'm feeling and I have to explain "ohhhh sorry, its totally not a big deal and you didn't know, but....."

I guess my point in writing this is to support other moms & dads that are going through this and let them know that they are not alone!  I know it is super common and that it doesn't mean we'll never have a healthy, full-term pregnancy again.....but in this moment it definitely sucks and it is OK to feel those feelings.  In my case, it definitely makes it ALOT easier to look at my sweet Ollie's smile and snuggle with him.

Ohhh and you know what is the worst part -- I went to Bermuda for a long weekend last week (kid-free!) and watched my husband sling back amazing looking rum swizzles while I sipped my gingerale & splash of cran with a lime mocktail.  What a waste!  Haha, I know that is not the worst, but we all need a good laugh at a time like this.

Anyway, I'm fine, feeling good and happy to have this behind us!  Hopefully you'll be seeing me sport some big fat shirred side maternity clothes this winter and complaining about swollen ankles!  Back on the horse!  :)

Thanks guys! Feel free to share with anyone that may benefit from knowing they are not alone!
Love to all.  -rory

Did I just go on vacation??

Wait.  What just happened?  I did pack suitcases, get on a boat, check into a hotel and sleep in a foreign bed.  Was I on vacation?  Because it definitely felt like I was in a nightmare of sprinting, stressing, high blood pressure inducing and grilled cheese seeking chaos.  Otherwise know as a vacation with an 18 month old boy. Otherwise known as NOT A VACATION.

I grew up venturing to Martha's Vineyard with my family, enjoying the beautiful island!  So when my husband Chris & I decided to plan a yearly family vaca, I knew that would be the ideal destination.  Chris is from New Jersey, so he had never been.  I was excited to share all my childhood memories and create some new memories with my little family unit.   So, last August, we packed the car and ventured on the boat and headed to Edgartown with a sweet and fat 6 month old boy.   He was sooo cute and was so happy to snuggle in our arms as we sat on the front porch of our hotel admiring the beautiful harbor...and enjoying a few vaca cocktails!

Then when we would go out to dinner, Ollie would be more than pleased to sit in the bjorn for the walk to town and enjoyed smiling at everyone that would pass us, as they commented on the cute baby in the popped collar polo!  HA!  Soooooo, when we decided to make it the annual destination, we asked ourselves: will this year be easier or harder?  Annnnnd the answer turned out to be a resounding: WAYY HARDER!

Oliver enjoys running alot.  So much so that Chris and I are slightly worried he may have some attention disorder issues- he literally wants to run and climb and jump and touch and destroy all. day. long.  And that is just what he did the entire trip. There was really not one tiny bit of relaxation the entire trip; mostly just daily plans of "how are we going to entertain/tire him out today" without the structure, routine and safety of home.  Ollie flat out refused to be strapped into his new UppaBaby stroller.  He refused to hold our hand when walking.  He refused to eat almost every option we presented (unless it was goldfish or granola bar).  Finally, the frosting on the cake was the start of full blown back-arching, yelling, red-faced, throwing-his-body-to-the-ground tantrums.  Literally for no reason.  We, being weak and embarrassed, were willing to indulge him in whatever he desired to end the tantrum...but it turns out that he just desired to exhaust us and make us swear we are never doing this again!!!!

Of course, the Facebook photos I posted of our vaca were perfect.  Ollie was smiling, laughing or involved in a fun activity.  He had clean, fresh t-shirts on that did not have Mad Martha's ice cream or red sauce from the linguine he threw across the restaurant, smeared on them.  He was visiting great destinations and the family shots show a slightly sun burned red(ish)-haired family, blissfully happy.  That's the trick of Facebook - essentially it's a total fraud.  Little did my family and friends know that we were dying and ready to call MGH and check on their return policy 18 months postpartum.

With all this being said, on our last day we visited this quiet beach in Edgartown, where Ollie made friends with a big yellow lab named Tucker and his little 19 month sweet sidekick.   We watched him play in delight, running in and out of the water, throwing the ball and giggling constantly at the "woof woof" that loved him right back.  He would come back periodically and check in with mom & dad, sometimes even giving us his signature open mouth kisses.  Our hearts swelled and we were so proud to be the parents of this sweet little goose that was entertaining the entire beach.  We enjoyed it so much we started planning our third annual Earley family vaca for 2014 (hopefully with a newborn too! Cross your fingers for me!)

And there you have it -- just like giving birth, you forget the intense HELL you experienced and just can't wait to do it again!

Below are some "honest" pics from our vaca.

3 Strollers & 1 Baby

Remember the days when you would put something down in your home and it was actually still there when you went to use it again?  I don't know, like your hair brush, your shoes or your bottle of water that you are currently drinking.  In my home, some magic phantom fairy steals these things and they are thrown in the bathtub, under the couch or if it is something edible, it is often shoved into the cab of a toy truck.  Who would do such a thing?  I miss those days when my stuff was mine and no one touched it, broke it or colored on it with a red crayon.  OMG, how times have changed!

Last Saturday night we had one of our family nights, where the three of us head out in the city for dinner and treats and perhaps hit up the hottest playground or water feature!  We wandered to the North End, where one of the Italian feasts was going on & had fun meandering through the busy streets of Little Italy munching on pizza, arancini and sweet treats!   As we headed back to our apartment, we walked down Hanover street, the main strip with tons of restaurants.  I was sweaty from carrying Ollie while pushing his empty stroller, had Ollie's hand print in pizza sauce smeared across my white tee (hot look!) and was straight up exhausted from a busy day.

Many of the restaurants have big huge windows that are thrown open for summer dining.  It was 8pm on a Saturday night in August - prime time!  I was eager to get home and then I casually glanced at a table of young (younger than me!) fun girls enjoying wine and bread dipped in olive oil.  Their hair was freshly coiffed and their outfits were super cute (not black yoga pants) and I had this HARDCORE pang of envy.  When the hell is the last time I went out to dinner and casually enjoyed my meal and laughed with my girlfriends (or husband)??   Dinners now consist of shoveling food very very quickly in order to be done before Oliver finishes his grilled cheese and wants to launch out of his seat and begin his marathon of running.  Or if we have our beloved babysitter Julia taking care of Ollie, we literally go to the exact same place every single time, order the same meal and debate whether to have a second drink at all, as the morning will be such a beast if we have too much to drink...all the while mostly talking about Ollie and keeping the iPhone on the table, eagerly awaiting a picture text from Julia.  Pathetic. 

It is so funny how we parents have morphed into entirely different people!  One other example is my obsession with baby gear -- namely strollers.  I currently have three strollers (2 brand new) sitting in my not so big apartment.  I have one baby, who doesn't even really like being in the stroller.  I had a bee in my bonnet that Ollie's UPPAbaby Vista was old and trashed, so I needed a new one after 18 months.  Enter in the ole grandma, who would buy him a Maserati if he asked.  Score!  I studied the new 2013 Vista fabric colors like it was my job!  In the end, we went with the new Indigo blue color to replace the old slate blue color we had! HA!  Then this weekend at a sidewalk sale, I saw an amazing deal on a Mountain Buggy Duet double stroller.  I mean, I HAD to buy it for my second baby, that has yet to be conceived- it allows for a toddler seat & a bassinet for the new baby, so I really had to buy it.  Right?  Needless to say, my husband is none too pleased with me this week. 

I realize I need psychiatric help for my stroller hoarding and I don't even care!!  I remember sizing up another woman's style by her handbag or shoes...now it is her stroller.  Ohhhhhh she has the Bugaboo Donkey, she is sooo the cool girl!

What about you, readers??! Please share below in the comment section how you have changed as a mom or perhaps what kid purchases you are obsessed with that could possibly be the catalyst for divorce papers!!

Pizza!  YUMMMM!

Verrry popular with the ladies at the feast!

Rory Earley - Postpartum Doula / Night Nurse Services

Hi Blog Readers!

Thanks so much for checking out my silly blog!  I just thought I would take this opportunity to outline what I offer as a postpartum doula and how I may be able to help your family.  I am a fellow mom, originally from Cohasset and now living in Downtown Crossing with my husband and 18 month old son.  I love babies and children and I feel lucky that I can stay home with my son during the day and have this career helping other moms and dads in the evenings.  Here is a snapshot of my services:

I offer two "shifts":
*6pm-11pm
*10pm-6am (overnight)

During these times, I am available to help in any way, for example:
*Anything related to the baby
*Laundry
*Bottle/Pump part washing
*Cooking
*Grocery shopping
*Errands
*General household organization
*Older sibling care
*New mom support - breastfeeding, swaddling, bathing, soothing techniques, baby products, etc
*Prenatal support -setting up nursery, product purchases, help with securing long term childcare


My Experience:
I have over 15 years of experience with newborns and children of all ages!  I have been a babysitter, FT nanny, household manager and I am a mom myself to my beautiful and crazy redheaded son named Oliver!  I am a CAPPA trained postpartum doula and now focus my practice on strictly working with newborns & infants.  Additionally, my mom is a chef/caterer, so I've always loved cooking. I have prepared many meals for moms that are on a restricted diet during pregnancy or breastfeeding!

Rates:
$40/hour

Please fee free to contact me with any questions!  I am open to a myriad of different situations and am happy to help in any way I can.  My goal is to make your life a little easier.

Thanks for reading!

Rory Earley
rwearley@gmail.com
http://roryearleydoula.blogspot.com
http://facebook.com/roryearleydoula

Who is this baby in my living room?

Do you ever look at your child while he is screaming through the latest tantrum and think- who is that?  Is this real life? Ohhhhhh right, I left my carefree life of having a clean "single girl" apartment in the North End to move into a bachelor pad with some guy I liked, we got married and now we have a baby!  Wait, when did this all happen?

I think these revelations are even more surreal for me, as I spent most of my life caring for other people's children.  It all started with a big, loud Irish family with a million cousins (and many cookouts in Nana's backyard....and perhaps a wiffle ball tourney or two)!  Then, as I ventured through college and grad school I babysat and nannied all over Boston and in my hometown of Cohasset.  I truly loved it and it was a wonderful way to supplement my income while in school and then subsequently to bolster my meager salary while working in government!  Some weeks I would be working 5 or 6 nights a week, spending my evenings in other people's homes!  I remember working for families with big houses and two luxury cars (plus maybe a "dump car" for the trash runs) and plenty of expendable income and thinking that was just the natural progression - someday I will have all this too.  HA! 

I have so so so many crazy stories about working for other families - many good and some so very funny!  Like the time in a babysitting interview when the mom informed me that they don't allow guns into the home.  Ummmm, ok thanks for the info.  Many of the moms I am super close with to this day, which is so great.  I have been so honored that all these families have trusted me with their little lovebugs all these years --- and now I appreciate it even more since I have hired a babysitter for my Ollie! 

We are obsessed with our babysitter Julia and trust her implicitly, however I do remember the first time I let her take my little baby out of the apartment and to the playground.  I was a wreck - peeking down from the balcony and watching as they walked away down the street!  So ridiculous and I would have TOTALLY rolled my eyes at a mom doing that to me when I babysat!  Having a caregiver take care of your baby is like saying: Here, here is my entire life, my entire purpose for living, please take care of it. So now, I get it, I totally and completely get it.   Similarly, I now get my mother-in-law wayy more than I ever did.  When Chris & I started dating and she would visit, she would say things like: "Oh Chris, you are so perfect," which made me fume with anger.  I literally wanted to prepare a PowerPoint presentation on ways he is sooo NOT perfect!  And now I have a handsome little boy who is literally the spitting image of his father, and I have found myself saying: "Ollie you are so perfect"..... jinx!

This week, Ollie & I ventured to the fun wading pool on the Esplanade on a sunny morning.  Ollie loves swimming and has such a blast.  I love that the water only goes to my upper calf, so my bathing suit is cropped yoga pants and a tee.  (Hallelujah for no bathing suits necessary!).  Anyway, he was splashing around and dunking in his cute little swim trunks, and it was just so nice.  As we dried off and sat eating a snack, I looked around to see a bunch of moms and caretakers enjoying this day, and I had a big and somewhat weird epiphany ----this is my life!  This is my kid, my UppaBaby stroller, my diaper bag.....not some other mom's stuff that I am caring for --- just mine.   It seemed quite profound at the time, but as I'm writing this, it does seem a bit silly!  All those years I worked with other families, dreaming of having my own husband and babies and now it is real life.  I did it.  I really got everything I have ever dreamed about.....well, except for the pearl white Range Rover, but hey there is still time!  Right, Chris?

My ever so supportive husband has been pushing me to write a book...mostly because I think he naively thinks it will make millions!!! However, I have been thinking about it for some time. Now that I have this juxtaposition of nanny life and mom life, I'm thinking it may be a good read -  The Nanny Diaries meets Real Housewives of Boston!  C'mon Random House, show me the money!!

10 New Mom Essentials

Hi Readers -
I thought I'd write a little post for any new or expecting moms that may read my silly little blog.  We buy sooo much stuff before we have the baby and then a ton of it goes back to Babies R Us or gets thrown in a closet.  Here are a few things that I thought were super helpful.  (I don't represent any company, this is strictly my personal opinion from my experience with my Ollie).  xoxo, -rory

1. Moms Group. First off, a new moms group is imperative!  I definitely felt like I didn't need/want this when I was pregnant, cause I thought I knew it all (HA!).  However, because I'm a total follower, I did in fact join the Isis mom's group called "Great Beginnings" and what a great decision that was.  You start when your baby is about 6 weeks old.  It is a bunch of tired moms that are all like "OMG, What am I doing?!?", and you all bond and learn all you need to know about the first few weeks.  The babies lay on boppys and scream their heads off and no one minds!  This is also where you will begin to feel OK with breastfeeding outside your living room!  The first few classes, you may wear your cover up, but soon thereafter no one cares.  I always say- If anyone wants to catch a glimpse of what's going on here with my post-baby bod, go ahead.  However, you may need some therapy after looking!  Just saying.  Anyway, the support is amazing and you will remain friends with these woman!  I'm 17 months out and I am definitely still close to most of the moms in my class.

2. Nursing Cover.  Speaking of Nursing -  sooner or later, you will have to feed the baby in public.  It is a wicked scary thought initially.  Then you will be out and your little goosie will need to eat and you just have to do it.  My first time was in the MGH lobby at my 6 week check up.  Ollie lost it and I just had to do it on a bench, amidst tons of people -- It was definitely a good initiation.  The apron like things that go around your neck and cover your baby while he feeds are amazing!  There a bunch - I loved the Bebe Au Lait ones that came in super cute patterns.  http://www.bebeaulait.com/

3.  Nursing Tanks.  I was and still am obsessed with these tanks, even though I am no longer breastfeeding!  I used the Glamour Mom Tanks and they were great!  I LOVED the fact that they kind of sucked your belly in, while providing a cute tank to wear and there were soooo long!  Love the coverage.  They also have styles for bigger chests with a little more support.  http://www.glamourmom.com/

4. Nursing pillow.  It is super important to be comfortable while nursing as you will be doing it ALOT and when you relax, your milk supply can flow easily!  There are tons of pillows out there - I mostly just used the all purpose Boppy pillow, that is like a C-shaped pillow that wraps around your waist.  Sometimes I would prop up one side with a regular pillow, but you will find what works best for you.  A ton of my friends loved the My Brest Friend pillow and I used that for a little while, but preferred the boppy.  Sometimes in the middle of the night, I just used this silly little rectangle shaped decorative pillow with my wedding date embroidered on it that I received as a wedding gift.  It was the perfect shape to just slip under his body.  Odd, I know.  This is the area in which everyone is different - you have to find out what is comfortable for you.  Also, they do make these travel boppys that you fold up and leave in your stroller for feeding in public!  The boppy is also great for propping up the baby when they get a little bigger and I loved doing tummy time on the boppy.
http://www.boppy.com/shop/category/pillows-and-loungers/
http://www.mybrestfriend.com/


5. Swaddles.  I know that there is a movement now that is anti-swaddle, but I am certainly pro-swaddle!  I wish I could still wrap ollie up in his little muslin blankets!  Initially when he was super small, we used the pink and blue hospital blankets to wrap him. As he grew a little bigger, I did either the Aden & Anais muslin blankets that everyone uses and I also love the Miracle Blanket and the Summer Infant velcro swaddles.  It was a great "sleep cue" and even if they initially fight it, most babies like it! 
http://www.summerinfant.com/nursery/swaddling-wearable-blankets/swaddleme/small-medium
http://www.miracleblanket.com/
http://www.adenandanais.com/shop/swaddles.aspx

6.  A vibrating "bouncy seat".  These little transportable seats are great for a while!  I loved that the baby could nap in there and you could move it from room to room.  Also, it comes in soooo handy when you actually need to shower.  Ollie spent many a mornings in the bouncy seat on the bathroom floor while I showered.  As they get a little bigger they begin to see the little animal toys hanging down and bat at them....and this is when you start to become convinced they are baby geniuses.  This is the one that I had and loved it, but there are a million on the market.
http://www.diapers.com/p/fisher-price-rainforest-bouncer-9322

7. An activity gym/playmat.  This omnipresent mat with the crisscrossing arches is great.  In the beginning, it is just a way to let them lay and have a little visual stimulation and then as they get older, you can hang toys or interlocking rings down for them to grab.  Definitely something you'll use for many months.  Again, there are a million out there, but this is the one I had.
http://www.diapers.com/p/fisher-price-rainforest-melodies-lights-deluxe-gym-9323

8. Baby Carrier(s).  Not everyone is a babywearer, and I never thought I would be..but now I am a total convert!!!  I still wear 25lb Ollie in my Ergo.  I already wrote a full on blog post all about carriers, see here -->  http://roryearleydoula.blogspot.com/2013/06/baby-carriers-my-personal-journey-of.html. I strongly encourage all new moms to babywear, not just for bonding....but for a couple minutes of free hands to empty the dishwasher!  Its great for skin to skin time too, which is so very important!

9.  Diapers.com or Amazon Prime.  I have a huge love affair with diapers.com!  They have EVERYTHING under the sun, including almost every product I've mentioned here.  The greatest thing is that it is free overnight delivery.  I am such a sucker for overnight delivery!  LOVE!  They have iPhone apps and easy re-ordering, as they save your frequently ordered items. I believe you can set up automatic delivery too.  Size 4 Pampers Sensitive diapers tomorrow by 6?  Yes please!

10.  Help!  Most every mom will answer "yeah yeah yeah, I know" to this suggestion, as we all want to be supermom that does it all.  However, it is really important that you get out, alone.  Even if it is just to CVS or Whole Foods (my usual destinations!).  The first few times you walk down the street without a stroller and diaper bag, you will feel naked.... but then you return home, all refreshed, and you are a better mom because of it!  Not all of us can afford a nanny or babysitter, but even if your partner or a friend can lend you a little help, it will be well well worth it!  If you do have a partner, down the road you may want a date night too...in order to rekindle that old spark and get geared up for baby #2.  HA, just kidding!

Nothing New Under The Sun

On Friday night, Ollie was getting stir crazy from being inside for too many hours.  His parents were being very selfish and didn't want to leave the cocoon of the air conditioning in the 101 degree heat!  He doesn't have too many words yet, but certainly can communicate what it is that he wants!  For instance, he will get his shoes and hand them to me and get behind the stroller and push it into the middle of the living room!  Subtle much, Olls??

So, I decided to give in and take a whirl to one of our usual destinations: Wallgreens!  We needed some whole milk and maybe a pint of Ben & Jerrys to survive the deadly heat!  I also decided to make it even more fun but letting ollie ride his fun Kettle trike!  Months back I became OBSESSED with getting this bike for him, fearing he would be so deprived if he didn't get it immediately..... ordered it, put it together and can not so proudly say that we have taken it out on the mean streets of Boston approximately 6 times in 5 months. 

Anyway, he was sooo excited to get strapped in and be totally unencumbered, spinning around 360 degrees to point out each and every single large vehicle with wheels.  He was barefoot and in super cute striped Mini Boden board shorts and a white tee - I was thinking to myself: look at this cute boy and this carefree summer night, I'm so happy!   Then we hit the new Wallgreens superstore that recently opened up in Downtown Crossing.  It is only a block away from our house and they have organic whole milk! Which means we dont have to trek down the hill to Whole Foods when we open the fridge at 7pm and see that we are not prepared for evening and morning bottle (yup, I know!  A 17 month old should not still be drinking from a bottle!).

Everyone was commenting on the cute red headed boy on his bike and he would shamelessly flirt back, cocking his head to the side with a little smirk!  I went to the grab the milk and threw it in the back of the bike.  With this thud, a floodgate opened.  Oliver wanted to hold the milk and hold it NOW!  When I refused to let him, he lost his mind and started crying and throwing a huge tantrum, all while strapped into the bike.   I quickly purchased the milk and ran home.  Outside on the sidewalk a mom and dad were stopped with a double stroller looking at a map - probably tourists walking the Freedom Trail.   In order to acknowledge that I realize this screaming isn't normal and I'm not a crazy mom, I of course felt the need to say something self-deprecating and sarcastic.  So they glanced at me and I said 'this is fun, huh?' to which they calmly replied: "We feel your pain, that was our entire morning".

Sooo even though I have worked with kids my entire life and know all about these tantrums and I've given that knowing smile to many moms that were in my spot on the street, this one sentance uttered by this mom & dad made me feel soooo much better!  I once again realized that all this craziness is normal (sometimes!) and that we're all going through the same stuff!  I hope that when he is 20 and putting his tenacious ways towards something big, we will laugh together at how much of a strong willed and stubborn baby he once was.  To those who know me and Chris, you see the stubborn apple didn't fall far!

My mom's famous line is "there is nothing new under the sun" and as I grow older, it really resonates with me.  There really isn't!  Every marriage has their tough times, every mom has struggles, and we are all just soo soo freakin TIRED!  However, what makes all this bedlam worth it are those moments when you open the door and your baby runs to you, jumps into your arms and puts his head on your shoulder because that is home to him.  Sheer euphoria.

Grilled Cheeses & Being A Boy Mom

Recently I was at a doula training weekend and at the icebreaker I was asked to list my hobbies.  Ummmm, what's a hobby?  Ohhh right - my hobbies are mainly seeking out large trucks, duck boats and busses on City streets, constantly applying sunscreen on a red-headed & filthy 17 month old boy and eating grilled cheese.That about sums it up.

I find the difference between girl and boy babies so so funny!  My friends with girl babies enjoy quiet reading time, shopping trips and playing nicely at various fun kid hotspots.  My son enjoys throwing things, running very fast towards trucks, dumping any sort of liquid drink all over himself and trying to splash the water in the toilet.  I really and truly don't understand how I am not a size double zero with the amount of running, chasing and truck playing I do on a daily.  I guess maybe the fact that I am on a steady diet of grilled cheese and mocha frappucinos (with an add-shot of espresso!) may be the culprit!  Anyway, Ollie loves nothing more than to push a cozy coupe, scooter or any other moving vehicle around and around and around the playground.  He literally has a massive stroke when he sees a firetruck and often will just stand and stare at one parked on the street.

I remember talking to an old friend I met in college, who was very interested in gender roles and how they are a social construct.... then she birthed three giant baby boys!  Now her life is knee deep in trucks and hockey and constantly cleaning the bathroom with Clorox wipes!  I'm sure she exposed her boys to dolls and gender neutral toys in the beginning, before the boy in boy mom took over and she just gave in to the mud, trains and soccer balls!  I really and truly believe this vehicle obsession is imprinted in their DNA!

The flirting is a whole other ballgame!  He will bat those long eye lashes and flirt with any woman in sight, whether she is 10 or 75.  He is an equal opportunity flirt.  There is a Starbucks in the bottom of our building and he is a fave among the barista ladies!  It actually is kinda cool to stroll in there at 9am and hear "Hi Oliver" come from 5 different girls, while the rush hour coffee customers watch, annoyed that their latte may be delayed due to the lovefest!

I also believe that picky eating and the male toddler species go hand and hand.  I've heard many friends with girls proudly exclaim their baby's love for salmon, edamame and quinoa!  Ollie is on a very strict all white diet- carbs with a side of carbs and a sprinkling of cookies or watermelon.  I will slave over a fun new meal where I've hidden something nutritional and Mr. detective will simply touch it with his finger and know he is not remotely interested.  I think his little fingers have a cookie detector, as he is open to cookies of all textures! 

Soooo, I go to fancy cafes and buy grilled cheeses on amazing sprouted bread with artisanal cheese and pressed in the most perfect panini maker on the planet.  Like today, I needed to go to the Apple store to replace my iphone (on iphone #3 this year due to Oliver Patrick!).  I was thinking he would nosh while I worked with my Apple Genius and thought of an idyllic exchange with a quiet baby in an air conditioned store to escape this 97 degree weather!  This is how it went - Ollie flipped out and wanted to get out of the stroller, then man-handled every ipad on display on the third floor of the glass encased store.  He almost launched his sippy cup up over the glass wall and down three flights until I caught it, like a red sox catcher.  He then almost outran me to the top of the narrow glass staircase.  UGHHHH!  Finally, I got him in the stroller and strapped him in.  I think the heat helped me out, as he gave up the fight. I presented the $12 grilled cheese and hoped for a nice round 2. 

As my nerves settled a bit and my Genius arrived with my new phone.  The grilled cheese was launched onto the floor.   Ummmm, did anyone see that, or can I just hand it back to him? Tap tap on the shoulder: "Ma'am your baby's sandwich is on the floor."  DAMN!  

The Transformation into a "Dada"

This post is dedicated to my CFE.  143.

Today on the walk to soccer, the whole fam was all excited for the first of what will probably be many sporting events for our crazy man Ollie!  I wasn't sure what to expect of a 16 month old and organized sports, but I was just happy to have him run so that he'd be tired for nap time!

On the walk there, Ollie pointed out every single truck, bus, trolley and duck boat as he always does.  The excitement this kid exudes at the sight of a trash truck is amazing!  I love it.  The funniest thing is that we have exposed him to all toys (not just boy stuff), but he is ridiculously obsessed with anything that has wheels, has dirt or anything that he can climb. Such a boy!

Anyway, one particular truck driver got a kick out of Ollie's excitement and gave him a little "toot toot" with the horn.  This just set Olls over the edge of excitement.....but it also had the same effect on Chris (the dada).  Much to my surprise, amidst all the rush hour commuters in Beacon Hill, Chris toot tooted loudly back as he saw his son's truck euphoria!  Obviously I get this -- I've been know to full on scream 'Baby Beluga' at the top of my lungs on the walk home to appease a cranky toddler.  Your sense of pride or caring what anyone thinks of you goes out the window, when that little 24-pounder needs something. I mean, you've seen (or read) how I dress -- nothing matters but him! 

So, I started to think about March 23, 2008, when I met this future dada who probably could have never imagined then that he would be playing with thomas the trains, washing bottles and buying diapers in a few short years.   He was such a cool dude, very bigtime lawyer man.  Too cool for me or anyone else --  He had never held a baby, let alone changed a diaper.  He strutted his stuff in his designer jeans and phat sneaks, thinking he was such a catch!  Such a tough guy!  As we moved in together and got married, that big heart opened up slowly but surely and the transformation started.

Fast forward to February 2012 - It was all over!  He had a son that had red hair, just like him!!!  From that moment on, I saw this tough guy change into Ollie's dada.  He carefully studied and learned everything he needed to know about raising this baby.  He knew about breastfeeding and pumping and tummy time and swaddles... He came home early when the colic had consumed the day.  He started Saturday morning walks, so that I could sleep in (or secretly watch DVR'd episodes of Real Housewives) and always brought back a giant Starbucks cup for me!  There was a switch around 10 months when Olls decided that Dada was the cool one and mom was just there when he needed something.  Now the weekly boys' night is Ollie's favorite time -- playground, pizza and ESPN?  You can't do much better than that, can you!?  Chris has totally morphed into a full on dad, who discusses sippy cups, bedtimes and developmental milestones with other parents at the park.  Once in a while I will meet up with my boys unexpectedly in the neighborhood and I get to see this relationship from afar.  Ollie loves his dada so so much and it is so touching to see how Chris loves that little boy right back a million times over. 

We love you, dada.  All you do for us each and every day is much appreciated.  We do, however, know that you secretly think you are the hottest dad at the playground!!!  BUSTED!

The aforementioned dada is the in-house legal counsel for the Earley clan and can be found here:  ChrisEarley.com

Come Waste Your Time With Me: The Playlist

Sooo, if you know me or you're an avid reader of my posts, I'm guessing you have noticed that I get a tad bit obsessed with things.  One thing I definitely obsessed about while pregnant was creating the most amazing environment for my labor & delivery.  Most specifically, the labor music playlist!  This became a latenight endeavor of finding songs from all over that inspire me, make me smile or would kick my ass to work harder to get that baby out! 

I crafted this great mix and listened to it incessantly during the last few weeks of my pregnancy.  I even made a backup list of fast paced running songs in case I needed a lil Beyonce to work it out.  Who knows: maybe Enya ain't what you want to hear when you are feeling the most incredible pain you have ever experienced in your entire life!?  Long story short, the only thing I thought about during my unmedicated 11 hours of back labor was ways to painfully punish my husband for not putting enough force into the lower back counterpressure exercise during my contractions!  You'd think I was a delicate piece of breakable glass with the teeny amount of pressure he was applying.  PRESS HARDER! OMG WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?  

Needless to say, the playlist and the cute docking station I purchased to play the music stayed in my overnight bag the entire hospital stay.  Shocker!   It was such a perfect example of what happens when you plan anything surrounding your labor & delivery - it is probably not going to happen the way you anticipated!

Tonight after putting my Ollie to bed, I was very tired and wanted to collapse.  However, I had to drag the old bod out into the night to the very fancy destination of CVS!  Turns out my extravagant $30 purchase of Mustela baby soap and Desitin was left in the bag at the self bagging register several nights ago.... and I just realized it tonight, when we had no soap! So a big shout out to our friends at Consumer Value Store who hooked a sista up by believeing me and offering to replace the items when I called them with my story.   So I threw on my headphones (which is a whole other story- I hate ear buds, as I must have deformed inner ears or something.  So I use the thin headband headphones that you probably rocked with your discman in junior high! I love them and they double as a headband - win win!  But my husband constantly makes fun of me for looking so ridiculously old school).  Anyway, I never really go for leisurely walks by myself and when I go fast walking/running or to the gym I listen to upbeat songs to make me gooooooo fasterrrrr.  Tonight I cranked the birth playlist and was transformed back! 

I am defintitely not a music person, but tonight I had quite the magical walk --Music really is transformative!  I listened to my "oliver songs" and remembered all the feelings of anticipation and excitement I felt as I waited to meet my sweet boy growing inside me.  The walk had such an overwhelming calming effect on me and I didnt want it to end!!  As all moms, I'm usually rushing to each thing - quick quick quick, finish your waffle, where are your shoes, chug latte, we're late for music, quick throw that load in the dryer, quick quick please please PLEASE take a nap....repeat repeat repeat!

The playlist has songs from so many areas of my life - freshman year of college, my wedding song and some just from fun nights with friends.  It was so nice to remember and reflect back on the old days!   So, I guess the point (is there one?) of my revelation tonight is that: first of all, moms need to take more walks by themselves sans sippy cups, snacks and diapers.  Secondly, we should listen to more music that doesnt involve the chorus: the wheels on the bus go round and round.......and slow it down and enjoy the ride!  xoxo, rory

Here it is:  The Oliver Patrick Birth Playlist from February 2012:

Better Days - Eddie Vedder
Breathe Me - Sia
Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
Both Sides Now - Joni Mitchell
Jolene - Ray LaMontagne
Fade Into You - Mazzy Star
Heart of Gold - Neil Young
I Go To Sleep - Sia
Heavy Things - Phish
One Particular Harbor - Jimmy Buffett
Lullaby for Wyatt - Sheryl Crow
Silent in the Morning- Phish
Shakedown Street - Grateful Dead
Love on Top - Beyonce
Violet - Hole
I'll Back You up - DMB
Christmas Song - DMB
Moonshadow - Cat Stevens
Secret O Life - James Taylor
You've Got A Friend  James Taylor
Your Song - Elton John
This Is How We Do It - Montell Jordan
Yellow - Coldplay
Fix You - Coldplay
You Are My Sunshine - Carly Simon
Looks Like Rain - Grateful Dead
Halleluja - Rufus Wainwright
Dreaming My Dreams - The Cranberries
River - Sarah McLachlan
Mary - Sarah McLaclan
Ghost - Indigo Girls
Power of Two - Indigo Girls
Someone Like You - Adele
Waste - Phish --------> (Come Waste Your Time With Me!!)

My toddler has a stylist

My silly middle of the night post- when I should be sleeping to be well rested for the bear of a day tomorrow that is toddler teething!  However, both the men in my life are asleep and I have the couch, remote, snacks... and the best part: I'm ALONE!   I seriously have an addiction to staying up late, like really late.  It is because I have a tiny sliver of my former life- when I can lazily scroll through websites and fill the 'shopping cart' with things I have no intention of buying, read US Weekly online or just sit like a bump on a log and tune out to VH1s Couples therapy.  Seriously I just watched that and I'm embarrassed to admit it.  Anyway, I just turned out the lights, checked on the baby and headed to bed.... Then detoured to the ipad to write a quick post.  It is like late nights are my addiction.... And the hangover at 7am is gonna kill.

I thought I'd share with you another career aspiration I have, after I go to culinary school, become a homeopathic doctor and open a gourmet sandwich shop in Beacon Hill (very much needed!).  I think I'd like to be a stylist to the stars... who are under 18 months.  I have become a tad obsessed with dressing my Ollie in a style in which I think I created when he was in utero!  He would be sporty with a touch of classic prep!  I would definitely sell my soul for a cute RL Polo size 12-18 months.  Those suckers are not cheap!    

I get compliments alot on Ollie's "cool dude" style and although I do think Oliver has the utmost confidence to wear any off the rack look,  I do take credit for the tireless amount of work that goes into pulling his look each day.  Not to mention the wardrobe changes if there are any hiccups in his day such as mud puddles, grass stains or an unmentionable diaper incident. I can scan a clothing rack at Gap or H&M in a heartbeat and know what will work and what will not, with the ease of Anna Wintour with the fall collection.  What can I say, it's a gift to know which hoodie will work with which distressed jean pant, never cargo.  Oliver's signature look is usually jeans or chinos, a tee or polo and his signature Red Sox hat (often worn backwards for an even cooler look).  Very rugged, classic and all boy- my masterpiece!

The funniest part of this whole ridiculous subject is that his trusty sidekick who is always with him: pushing the swing, spotting him as he climbs and chasing him with bites of his lunch through the playground so he will get some sort of nourishment into that hunger striking body, is his mother who looks like a train wreck!  I legit feel like any day now he is going to turn around, clad in some handsome nautical striped attire and say "mom, get yourself together girl, puhhlease!"  As much as I'd love to be the mom at the playground wearing cropped skinny jeans, 6 weeks postpartum, I really don't have the time to style two people.  So I will forsake myself and focus on the fashionista of the house. I will continue to wear "the uniform" as my husband so kindly calls it - black lululemons with a tee annnnnd perhaps a cardigan, you know to really pull the look together!  And by 10/10:30am said cardigan will be stained in several spots from snacks and sippy cups and playground dirt!  

All in all, I think I live vicariously through dressing him, since nothing in my closet fits! Omg how I wish I needed to have tabs inside my jeans to make them tighter because they are just too darn big for my skinny waist!    xoxo, rory

Baby Carriers: My personal journey of love/hate & backaches

Wear your baby!

Carriers:  I am obsessed with carrying Oliver in the Ergo!  Mainly because it means I don't have to feverishly seek out the nearest elevator everywhere I go for my car (I call my Uppa Baby stroller my car, because it is- it is my mode of transportation and carries all my loot!).  It is so freeing to just walk down the stairs to the train or take the escalator at the mall!  I've had several carriers over the past 15 months and so I thought I'd share my experience here in case you are debating on what to buy!  Below is a totally biased, unresearched and personal take on what is the best way to wear that little goosie of yours:

Bjorn:  the love of my life for the first several months when my little meatball baby was a skinny string bean and weighed close to nothing!  As he fattened up, it definitely killed my back but I would still wear it to grab a coffee or a quick errand.  Ollie loved to face out, however I know there is alot of talk from avid baby wearers that this is very bad for their hips and/or groin?  When asking my pediatrician, she said limited time once in a while is fine.  (Disclaimer: I'm not dispensing medical advice!  Remember I told you my husband is a lawyer, so I'm keeping things on the level here.... So I can still overuse his AMEX for my diapers.com obsession).  Anyway, love the Bjorn for the beginning.

Moby:  I was obsessed with getting this when I was pregnant because of the material.  I like how you can adjust if it any way and it doesn't matter how fat your belly is, it will fit.  I used it on occasion in my apartment in the beginning for skin to skin.  No shirt and naked baby.  I definitely liked it and think it is an awesome product.  However with the utmost respect to the Moby, it's just too much work for me.  It is literally 14,000ft of fabric.  I know that tons of mamas love it and claim its sooo easy once you get the hang of it and I certainly do not want to discourage anyone to use it!  The fabric is definitely super soft and it is perfect for skin to skin!

Ergo:  I bought the Ergo when Ollie was 5 months old, so I did not need the infant insert at that point.  I do love how his legs are sort of spread around my waist (not that I have a waist, but you know what I mean) and the pressure is off his little groin area.  I definitely feel like a kangaroo with a little baby in my pouch, but in a good way!  I love it!  The back support is definitely great and now that animal baby is 24.7lbs, I still wear him a lot and feel totally comfortable!   I've tried the hip carry once and I have a love/hate with that position!  It's so great for him and my back and he has more freedom.  The problem is the mid-belly belt that wraps around your stomach.  I wore it to the aquarium once and saw my reflection in the tank!  Ummmm yeah, I've never been one to "just throw a belt on and cinch it" and sadly I never will be.  I think the back carry position would also have the same accentuation of the belly, soooo I'm going to hold off for a bit!  But I see flat bellied moms do it and it looks great!  Good for them!  For right now my baby man is happy as a clam to be snuggled up on my chest, so we are keeping it that way!

Ring Sling:  I started to become a little obsessed with the hip carry.  So I decided I desperately needed a cute Sakura sling.  They are so pretty and just sit across your body like a messenger bag (no cinching!).   They are approximately $175 and so I debated for a few days how to make this purchase on the sly without my husband knowing and telling me how ridiculous I am.  He knows me well - I become obsessed with things and need them immediately shipped, overnighted NOW.... And then I lose interest.  So I went to trusty old GardenMoms, the amazing listserv for Boston moms and put up an ad seeking a used sakura sling.  Another mom sold me her beautiful lightly used, cobalt blue linen sling and I was so excited to start my new life as a hip carrying baby mama.   I watched the YouTube videos over and over and I thought I figured it out.  There is definitely an art to threading the ring and positioning the baby.  It is different in that it looks like a beautiful pashmina that you've wrapped around yourself.  The ring part hurt my shoulder a little bit, but I have not mastered it yet.....but anyday now!  It is currently laying on the chair in my living room that no one sits on, as it serves as a collector for coats, carriers, folded laundry and whatever baby item I use on the daily.  I literally just glanced over at the chair while typing so I could give you an accurate description of its contents! 

As a side note, I have ALOT of mama friends who use a variety of different carriers.  From them, I've heard amazing things about the K'tan and the Beco.  I honestly think that your style and body type play a huge role in what works best for you.  The staff at Isis is amazing for letting you try things on and figure out what you like.  Also, they are super helpful with adjusting your current carrier while on your body to make sure you have it on correctly.  I had my bjorn adjusted last year by an Isis staff member and it made such a huge difference by just tightening a small thing.  In conclusion, my suggestion would be to not go it alone!  Seek out help and advice in the baby wearing arena!  Try them on and ask questions!  Here are some helpful links:

http://www.isisparenting.com/page/shopsubcategory?categoryCode=babyslingscarriers

http://www.diapers.com/subcat=Carriers-Wraps-111

https://www.bigtent.com/groups/gardenmoms

All kidding aside, there is nothing better than having your baby close to you all the time.  It is so so special and comforting for the both of you.....annnnd the bonus is that you have two free hands for that triple espresso latte that you're going to need to make it through the day!  xoxo, rory

Wherever you are: my love will find you

Welcome blog visitors!

My name is Rory Earley and I am a Boston mom & new postpartum doula!  This is my first blog post ever (yes, it is 2013 & I'm a tad behind!) and I figured the best way to start this new adventure in my life is to tell you a little about me!  First things first, I promise you that I will always be REAL! I will always attempt to inject some humor and laughs into my posts, when appropriate!  Laughter is the best medicine -- honestly, I believe it's the only way we get through this amazing, incredible and exhausting gig they call motherhood!

My goal as a postpartum doula is to come into your home and just make your life easier!  I want to walk into the chaos that is spit up & blowouts & reflux & low milk supply & crazy hormones and reassure you that "Yes! This is normal and yes, it gets better!"  I want you to feel comfortable laying on the couch in the pajamas you've had on for two days while I'm there, and not care!  I want you to feel supported and cared for and know that your baby will be loved by me!

I like to describe myself as "a second you"- I am there to take care of not only the baby but the family as a whole.  I can't make a comprehensive list of my services as I could never cover everything.  Some families just want childcare so the mom & dad can take a break. Sometimes it's making dinner or going grocery shopping or washing bottles & pump parts and then sometimes a new mom just wants to be supported emotionally and talk about what she is going through!  There is NOTHING better than a supportive person who can listen to you when you're going through a tough time and say: "I understand, I've been there and you will get through this!"  I think the fact that I am a mom myself (to an insane (and adorable) marathon runner 16 month old boy) has exponentially enhanced my ability to be a great postpartum doula!  I get it!

My birth was crazy.  I planned a natural child birth for 10 months.  I dragged my husband (who will be the butt of many a jokes here) to mind/body classes during sunday afternoon Patriots games.  I read about and listened to CDs on hypnobirthing.  I was determined to wear that medal of honor after my birth that I channeled my inner amazingness and birthed a human without drugs.  I wanted that so bad, probably mostly just to say I did it.  Of course, it went exactly the opposite way I had expected!  At 10 days past my due date, my midwife suggested I be induced.  My blood pressure was rising and so I caved and said ok.  The nurses and midwives said it would probably be days until I actually delivered (seriously!?), so I told my two birth doulas that I would keep in touch, but I was pretty sure they were in for an uninterrupted night of sleep!Then all of a sudden the back labor started.  What a crazy & wild ride!  The worst pain I've ever felt & no way to relieve it - my baby was sunny side up and sitting on my tailbone!  I kept telling myself I was meant to do this and I could do it..... Annnnnd then a scene from grey's anatomy started to unfold in my hospital room.  Unbeknownst to me the docs were monitoring my baby's heartbeat from the nurses station & his heart rate was dropping dramatically!  A flood of doctors and nurses raced in to my room like It was a 'code blue- get out the shocker paddles' type of deal.  "We gotta get him out, we need to prep you for a c-section," were the words I heard.   

At this point I definitely thought Ashton Kutcher was in the next room filming an episode of Punked and I was his intended target.  A c-section was the worst thing that could happen to me!  This wasn't happening! Oh yes...Yes it was!  Oh and it gets better- I hemorrhaged on the table to the point of almost needing a transfusion and remained in surgery for about two hours getting all tied back together!!  (That will be the last of the over sharing, sorry!).  

Despite the rough road ahead of healing, supply issues & a baby that hated sleep, we made it.  I am so so crazy in love with my Oliver Patrick that I can't think about how much I love him without crying.  I literally cannot get through some of his books without choking up about how bananas I am about this kid!

Our favorite book of all time is Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You by Nancy Tillman.   Such an amazing book and 15 months later, I rarely make it to the last page without the ole voice quivering!  Seriously, buy this book now!  This is the page that usually kills me:

And if someday you're lonely,

Or someday you're sad,

Or you strike out at baseball,

Or think you've been bad...

just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.
That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.

I love you for reading this chaotic collection of thoughts!  I'm sure my blog entry is too long, filled with typos & grammatical errors & blog faux pas!  That's the beauty of it though.  For the lawyer in the room (my husband), I will shamelessly plug my services here:  Hire me!  I promise to make you laugh, make you dinner and help you explore the magic of motherhood!   xoxo - rory