Who is this baby in my living room?

Do you ever look at your child while he is screaming through the latest tantrum and think- who is that?  Is this real life? Ohhhhhh right, I left my carefree life of having a clean "single girl" apartment in the North End to move into a bachelor pad with some guy I liked, we got married and now we have a baby!  Wait, when did this all happen?

I think these revelations are even more surreal for me, as I spent most of my life caring for other people's children.  It all started with a big, loud Irish family with a million cousins (and many cookouts in Nana's backyard....and perhaps a wiffle ball tourney or two)!  Then, as I ventured through college and grad school I babysat and nannied all over Boston and in my hometown of Cohasset.  I truly loved it and it was a wonderful way to supplement my income while in school and then subsequently to bolster my meager salary while working in government!  Some weeks I would be working 5 or 6 nights a week, spending my evenings in other people's homes!  I remember working for families with big houses and two luxury cars (plus maybe a "dump car" for the trash runs) and plenty of expendable income and thinking that was just the natural progression - someday I will have all this too.  HA! 

I have so so so many crazy stories about working for other families - many good and some so very funny!  Like the time in a babysitting interview when the mom informed me that they don't allow guns into the home.  Ummmm, ok thanks for the info.  Many of the moms I am super close with to this day, which is so great.  I have been so honored that all these families have trusted me with their little lovebugs all these years --- and now I appreciate it even more since I have hired a babysitter for my Ollie! 

We are obsessed with our babysitter Julia and trust her implicitly, however I do remember the first time I let her take my little baby out of the apartment and to the playground.  I was a wreck - peeking down from the balcony and watching as they walked away down the street!  So ridiculous and I would have TOTALLY rolled my eyes at a mom doing that to me when I babysat!  Having a caregiver take care of your baby is like saying: Here, here is my entire life, my entire purpose for living, please take care of it. So now, I get it, I totally and completely get it.   Similarly, I now get my mother-in-law wayy more than I ever did.  When Chris & I started dating and she would visit, she would say things like: "Oh Chris, you are so perfect," which made me fume with anger.  I literally wanted to prepare a PowerPoint presentation on ways he is sooo NOT perfect!  And now I have a handsome little boy who is literally the spitting image of his father, and I have found myself saying: "Ollie you are so perfect"..... jinx!

This week, Ollie & I ventured to the fun wading pool on the Esplanade on a sunny morning.  Ollie loves swimming and has such a blast.  I love that the water only goes to my upper calf, so my bathing suit is cropped yoga pants and a tee.  (Hallelujah for no bathing suits necessary!).  Anyway, he was splashing around and dunking in his cute little swim trunks, and it was just so nice.  As we dried off and sat eating a snack, I looked around to see a bunch of moms and caretakers enjoying this day, and I had a big and somewhat weird epiphany ----this is my life!  This is my kid, my UppaBaby stroller, my diaper bag.....not some other mom's stuff that I am caring for --- just mine.   It seemed quite profound at the time, but as I'm writing this, it does seem a bit silly!  All those years I worked with other families, dreaming of having my own husband and babies and now it is real life.  I did it.  I really got everything I have ever dreamed about.....well, except for the pearl white Range Rover, but hey there is still time!  Right, Chris?

My ever so supportive husband has been pushing me to write a book...mostly because I think he naively thinks it will make millions!!! However, I have been thinking about it for some time. Now that I have this juxtaposition of nanny life and mom life, I'm thinking it may be a good read -  The Nanny Diaries meets Real Housewives of Boston!  C'mon Random House, show me the money!!